To do this you need three "requests" for your find. The first needs to specify criteria for what you want to include and the second and third specify criteria that you want to exclude (omit). Omit requests modify the results produced by the preceeding requests so they should always be added last.
Here's a scripted form of what you are describing:
Enter Find Mode  ---> clear the pause check box
Set Field [YourTable::Gender ; "F" ]
Set Field [YourTable::MaritalStatus ; "Child" ]
Set Field [YourTable::status ; "not attending"]
Set Error Capture [on]
Perform Find 
In find mode, new Record/Request creates a new request instead of creating a new record and Omit record when performed in find mode is the scripted equivalent of clicking the Omit button in a manual find.
It is also possible to specify this same criteria inside the Perform Find step, but I prefer to script finds with set field steps so that I don't have to open a special dialog in order to examine what criteria was specified.
I definitely appreciate the in-depth response.
The way you explained it made a lot of sense.
Before you responded, I ended up finding "Constrain Found Set", which did what I needed it to do, but having to click on that or Perform Find to see what the search modifier was is annoying (as you described), so your way looks a lot better!
In scripted finds similar to my example, you can use constrain found set, or extend found set in place of Perform find--though some of the other script steps would have to be different before the results would be the same.
When dealing with large sets of records in the table being searched, you can sometimes get much quicker results if you preform one find--specifying criteria only in stored/indexed fields. Then return to find mode to specify criteria in unstored/unindexed fields and constrain the found set.