Set up a relationship to display everything that has not been retired, than in your value list select "Use values from field" option. Then select the relationship you set up and the field to display
That works, but it may be simpler to define this calculation field in your "other database"(using your fields and values in place of mine):
If ( Status ≠ "Retired" ; ValueField )
This field will be empty for all cases where the value is retired. Now define your "use values from a field" value list to list values from this calculation field.