Thank you for your post.
Only FileMaker Pro 10 will allow you to send mail to a SMTP server. With FileMaker Pro 10 running, pull down the File menu and select Send Mail... Next to "Send via: ", change the pop-up from E-mail Client" to "SMTP Server". Enter the pertinent information and click OK. In the "To: " section, enter your email address. Place "Test" in the Subject and Message areas and click OK. Check your email client and see if you receive an email. If this doesn't work, go back into "Send Mail...", and adjust the settings for the SMTP server.
Yes, we are using Filemaker 10 to send the mail. The description you gave us is something we already know.