Thank you for your post.
If you have FileMaker Server running on the same machine with FileMaker Pro, you will not be able to turn on Instant Web Publishing. Therefore, go to another machine where FileMaker Pro is located and turn on Instant Web Publishing for the database file.
To turn on ODBC, pull down the File menu and select Sharing -> ODBC/JDBC. Turn on ODBC/JDBC Sharing and set the file for access.
For XML, XSLT and PHP, pull down the File menu and select Manage -> Security... Click the "Extended Privileges" tab, click "fmxml", click Edit, and enter a checkmark next to the access privileges you want for XML. Do the same for "fmxxlt" and "fmphp".
Let me know if you need additional clarification.