Thank you for your post.
I don't know why the Tool Bar is grayed out. What version of Mac OS are you using? Leopard (10.5.x)? Snow Leopard (10.6.x)?
Create a new privilege and user account that accesses that privilege. Log on and see if the Tool Bar is still grayed out? Log in with a full access password. Is it grayed out? Are there any startup scripts?
Any other information you can provide may help me narrow the possible causes.