Thank you for your post.
On your Mac, launch FileMaker Pro and open the database file. Pull down the File menu and select "Sharing -> FileMaker Network...". Be sure to turn on Network Sharing. Verify the IP Address listed. In that same dialog box, select the file in the bottom left quadrant, and on the right side, make sure "All users" is selected. Click OK. Your file is now accessible for guest access.
No need to set up Wi-Fi since you already have Bento for Mac and Bento for iPad syncing properly. This is not a problem having Bento and FileMaker working "side by side".
Launch FileMaker Go. Assuming you have added the Mac as a Remote Host, tap the IP Address of the Mac and a listing of available files for access are displayed.
Please keep me posted with any progress.
Not sure what I've done to duplicate TSGal's answer, but perhaps that was posting from the iPad, the forum doesn't seem to work too well with the iPad or at least my iPad, never the less:
Thanks for the answer, I've now progressed and have my database working with the iPad.
Thanks for this question and the answer. There are no instructions about doing this and these settings are the opposite of the default. I had tried everything I could think of (and some others), but it had never quite occurred to me that I was setting up an FN NETWORK.