First, see this thread on adding new portal rows: Creating Portal Rows in FMP 11
the only option available in the following radio boxes is 'include arrow...'. Other two boxes are unavailable.
This is to be expected if you are using a value list with the "specify values from a field" option and that selects an ID number as the first field. It's not what you or I want--that auto-complete would be helpful, but it's what you'll get with that kind of value list. The "edit" option is only for custom values and the auto-complete is for value lists that enter text into a text field.
There are methods that work around the auto-complete limitation provided the extra relationship and scripting is added to make it work. I happen to have a demo file:
FileMaker 12 users: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/78737945/SimpleNameLookupDemo.fmp12
Pre FileMaker 12 Users: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/78737945/SimpleNameLookupDemo.fp7
Also having some funny issues with entries in one record duplicating in another in the same found set.
Sounds like a completely different issue and one that you'll need to describe in a lot more detail--possibly in a new thread before we can offer any guesses as to why that is happening.